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January 30, 2009

O Fortuna!

I don't believe in luck.

I was lucky that my guitar professor decided to accept me into the program at ASU, despite my complete and utter lack of professional training and technique. He apparently saw some potential there and decided to let me prove myself.  He was there for me again, though somewhat bewildered at a weeping girl in his office after a disastrous first semester, telling me that it was up to me, but he thought I should stick it out and not move back to Flagstaff.

Despite having no support system of friends and family in Phoenix, I listened.

I was lucky to see that the Music Library was hiring when I was meeting with my advisor a few weeks before school started my freshman year.  I went up to apply, and was somewhat nonplussed to be offered an interview, and then the job, on the spot, despite my complete unpreparedness and unprofessional wardrobe consisting of baggy pants, chain wallet, ratty Metallica t-shirt, and bizarre hair.  My supervisor somehow saw some potential there.  She was there for me again 5 years later to help me apply for and secure my first library staff position.

I was lucky that, after finally finishing my MLS, a temporary librarian job opened up at ASU, the first in quite a while.  And another one opened up shortly afterward, just in time for me to migrate from the temporary appointment to my current job.

I've been lucky in my adult life to have a series of secure, stable jobs - lucky enough in my finances to manage to pay my bills and sock a little away.  Lucky in my husband and friends, lucky in my health.

I'm lucky now to still be employed, to still have my salary, that the worst thing that is happening right now is 12 unpaid days off.

I don't believe that any of my good fortune (and believe me, I count my blessing well), has anything to do with luck, with chance.  I believe that things don't happen, that you make things happen.  My fortune is due to the choices I made, and greatly due to the people in my life. I practiced hard for that audition, I was open to suggestions and willing to listen.  I applied for the jobs I wanted, and made a good enough impression to get them.  I work hard to be valuable and useful at my work.  I do my best to learn from my mistakes, and try not to make them again.

There are people close to me in my life who say that they are unlucky, that nothing ever goes right for them.  But I see them continually make the same bad choices, I see them settle instead of pushing for what they want.  I can't believe that's bad luck.  I think that's the consequence of poor decisions.

Sometimes bad things do happen to good people.  I don't think that's chance. I think it has more to do with the bad decisions of others.  And I admit, I also believe that sometimes things happen because they were meant to.  But that's not luck, that's belief in a higher power.  Sometimes it's for the best.

3 comments:

  1. I commend you for writing this entry, which I hope will help convince people who feel they are unlucky to 'take the reins' of their own destinies a bit more.

    It's always hard to blog obliquely about your thoughts as they pertain to people close to you. I avoid many topics because I know my relatives read my blog, and some of my opinions do not really pertain to the blogosphere as a whole.

    You have presented your story and related it to your point very clearly. :)

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  2. Thanks Kelly! I get frustrated when people say that I am lucky to have gotten where I am (implying that I am more lucky than they)- I am happy and fortunate in my circumstances, but it took a lot of hard work on my part.

    I wasn't blogging about anyone in particular though.

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  3. Congratulations on making a wonderful life for yourself! Having known you for over 15 years (omg, really?!) I can say that you have grown tremendously into a person you should be very proud of. You have also helped feed my growing optimism for life, for which I am very grateful!

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